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Patterns of a high EQ - how do you spot them?

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In part 4 of my series on emotional intelligence (EQ) I discuss the patterns of a high EQ and how to spot whether or not your learner(s) show these traits.

Pattern #1: Having a winning emotional vocabulary

Even though, we experience a variety of emotions on a daily basis, there are few people who are able to properly identify emotions when they occur. People with a high IQ are able to specifically identify an emotion, They can look beyond surface-level words such as "bad" and pinpoint more accurate emotions beneath, such as "irritated"/ "frustrated", etc. The more specific the word choice, the better insight learners will have into exactly how they are feeling, what is the cause of the emotion, as well as what they should do about it.

Pattern #2: Being curious

Curiosity is the product of empathy. The more you care about other people and what they are dealing with, the more curiosity you will have about them. Being curious about others is a significant sign of high EQ.

Pattern #3: Embracing change

If a learner is flexible and adaptable, they will be able to form a plan of action in order to deal with the situation when change occurs.

Pattern #4:  Knowing your strengths & weaknesses

This translates into a learner understanding what they are good at and in what areas they struggle. They learn to take full advantage of their strengths while not letting their weaknesses hold them back in life.

Pattern #5: Being a good judge of character

Social awareness is such an integral part of EQ. Over time, the more a learner is able to 'read' other people and understand what they are going through in life, the learner will become a good judge of character.

Pattern #6: Rarely taking offence

Self-confidence and open-mindedness stem from a high EQ. If a learner is happy in their own skin, it is less likely they will become overly emotional when something negative is said about them.

Pattern #7: Knowing how to say NO

Exerting self-control is a sign of high EQ. These learners tend to avoid phrases such as "I don't think I can.." and instead make use of the powerful word: "No". They view saying no to a new commitment is a way of honouring your existing commitments and giving yourself the opportunity to fulfil them.

Pattern #8: Letting go of mistakes

EQ learners are able to distance themselves from past mistakes. Dwelling on them creates anxiety. Instead, they turn their failures into lessons of improvement for the future. The old Japanese saying "Fall 7 times, stand up 8" comes to mind.

Pattern #9: Giving and expecting nothing in return

EQ learners are able to build strong relationships with others, showing a genuine care and concern because they are able to think of others, not just themselves.

Pattern #10: Not holding grudges

Nursing a grudge can create negative emotions which, in turn, creates stress. Stress can cause long-term health issues as well. EQ learners are aware that stress should be avoided. Letting go of a grudge will have a positive effect on the learner's mind, body & spirit.

Pattern #11: Neutralizing toxic people

Dealing with difficult people can be frustrating and exhausting. EQ learners are able to control their interactions by tuning into their own feelings. They can consider other people's point of view and thinking rationally about the situation.

Pattern #12: Not seeking perfection

EQ learners do not set perfection as an end goal. They are rational thinkers and know that the concept of perfection does not exist. It's a pointless pipe dream that cannot be fulfilled. They don't focus on what wasn’t achieved. Instead, they are motivated by what has been accomplished. 

Pattern #13: Appreciating what you have

EQ learners are able to display an attitude of gratitude. Being grateful in nature causes a reduction in the cortisol hormone which, in turn, improves an individual's mood. 

Pattern #14: Being able to disconnect

Taking time off to rest and relax helps keep stress levels under control. That is why playtime and finding a sport or hobby is so important for learners' physical, social - and emotional- development.

Pattern #15: Stopping negative self-talk

The more learner focus on negative thoughts, the more power they give to them. EQ learners manage to separate their thoughts from fact. They are able to remove themselves from the infinite cycle of negativity to stand firm with a more positive mindset.

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